Obligation

My mom once had a friend who owned a children’s bookstore, and she took me in one day after a doctor’s appointment to pick out a book. Her friend took me all around the store, and picked out loads of books for me to choose from, about girls and horses and the color pink and other things I loved. Problem was, I didn’t want to read, I didn’t want to carry something around, and I didn’t want to look at pictures. I didn’t want a book. So I walked around this pretty little store with this really nice woman, and refused to consider anything she put into my grubby ungrateful hands.

I feel the same way about this car…my parents are trying to push me towards a Honda Fit, but I’m looking at used convertibles (as is clearly evidenced by this blog). The timeframe of this decision became crystal clear this morning, as my mom promised a Honda dealer that I would have a decision for him by tomorrow afternoon, much to my surprise. There’s not a good way to compare these cars–the difference is mostly in the mindset and attitude about what I want to drive. This will be the first car I own, the first possession I really have to take care of myself, the first loan I’ll ever take out in my own name, the first time I’ll be agreeing to pay hundreds of dollars a month for years into the future. It’s a big deal, and I’m feeling a lot of pressure, and not much joy.

At this point, I feel like I might walk out of the store empty-handed.